I LOVE surprises-- and dammit we're gonna get a couple good ones so help me!

My husband Adam and I usually agree on most things- although picking names for our future children is challenging to say the least. Honestly though I was surprised when Adam agreed with me on keeping the genders a surprise. I really thought I'd have to pick a fight or threaten him with something unrealistic. Keeping the genders a surprise I believe it's not only logical, but valid is: Why?! Why must you know now?! What is it going to change? How much you love the baby? I don't think so. AND what about this awesome thing called "the element of surprise"?! How often in this day & age do we get surprised? And I don't mean walking in on your married boss with his male assistant surprised. I mean really surprised in a GOOD way. I still remember when Adam proposed, BEST SURPRISE OF MY LIFE! Why would I have wanted to know that? Same deal with the little chickens -- I want and long to hear "it's a boy or girl!!!" and I'm thrilled Adam is gonna be there in that moment too.

Make the itching stop!!!!

There are moments when I feel if someone caught me scratching as rabidly as I'd like to they be like, "Aw that poor junkie- but she looks so healthy & well-dressed to be a junkie- that's even more of a shame!" everything itches- but mostly my legs and get this, my nipples. Um, not cool! Sure, you can publicly bend down and soothe any itch below your waist that's not in your crotch region. Most people will even forgive a quick butt scratch- no biggie. But you can't really go to town and get your "scratch on" when what's itching is your REAL Victoria's Secret and you don't want it revealed.  When the "girls" are setting you in fits there is NO WAY to quell the situation in public, well, at least not without looking like a perv doing "tune in Tokyo" on yourself. And it's not like it's something you can explain to people who may happen to catch you doing it. I mean what are you supposed to do? Coyly smile and pretend like you're removing bothersome lent from your top? I have no more words and unfortunately no solutions for this issue at hand or dare I say at breast, but, "Thank you Mother Nature. Thank you for this fun little pearl of pregnancy I wasn't expecting."

14 weeks 3 days update

How far along? 14 weeks 3 days Total weight gain: 10lbs.. Feels like 30 Maternity clothes? I havent really pulled the trigger fully-- I'm not into elastic top pants..so tempting--NOT. I do wear lots of roll down skirts though. Stretch marks? NOOOOO Skin, Hair & Nails: finally got my mane under control-- that was a SIGHT! Looking much more human like now Sleep: insomnia can KISS IT!! I can't sleep at all. My amazing preggo pillow has helped.. I call it the Blue Lagoon. However it really just keeps me comfy while I lay wide awake Best moment this week: picking out nursery furniture and bedding,getting plans together for my baby shower, coming down to finalists on baby names, and ordering a few baby gear things(one of two strollers-- LOVE IT) Miss anything? My flat belly, and eating dinner without having horrid indigestion afterward...JOY Movement: nada-- cramps still though Food cravings: still Spicy ANYTHING!! Ice tea, subway sandwiches, CHEESE AND CRACKERS, cherries and grapefruit Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really anymore-- milk is tricky, and raw meat-- GAAAAAG! Gender:  IT WILL BE A SURPRISE for us- sorry everyone! Labor signs: Nope Symptoms: nightly indigestion, insomnia, crampiness, and my heart rate is much higher at the gym Belly button in or out? Innie Can you see your toes? Yes... Shocking Happy or moody most of the time: Pretty much happy-- If I do cry it's because I can't figure out what I want to eat Looking forward to: Friday-- Second high def video ultrasound. New video and new pictures!!

Insomnia, why am I your b&@$#....?

Dear Insomnia, Seriously, don't you have other people to pick on? Like folks who went out on an all night drinking binge and need to be taught a lesson? Or better yet, someone with the flu? Not that I wish them more misery, but I KNOW they were planning on spending the next 24 hours in bed anyway. Insomia, I am attempting to be a productive human being while growing two other human beings inside of me. I'm not suggesting I deserve special treatment because of my condition, but you should cut me some slack. Because I've got ALOT going on in my head right now and I really really do need my rest.  

Tuesdays Ticking Time Bomb

I currently regret saying, "I don't give a s#!t" on a very literal level right now because I would give just about anything to have one- take one, make one etc... Which is why this very special Green Eyed Monster Tuesday is brought to you by the letters "F" and "U" cause right now I am SO jealous of my husband and dog I could curse.  I love them dearly, but it seems just like with falling asleep for them these creatures that I adore can do it like clockwork. WTF?! It's NOT funny anymore. Now, I'm pissed. Every time Adam or Reggie relieve themselves I get more angry. Because that's what being constipated does. It makes you MEAN! Which makes me question with all seriousness a good number of senior citizens' and Rush Limbaugh's regularity. I wish I was kidding, but a couple of weeks ago when my darling husband was taking one of his marathon craps I lost it. (And by the way how do guys spend half an hour + in the bathroom for that?! Even when I could go with no issue I'm in an out in 5 minutes max. I remember as a kid my brother doing the same thing. What are they doing in there? Solving world peace?) Seriously is it a testosterone thing or do women just think, "I've got too much shit to do (pun intended) other than sitting here on the pot for half the day.") Anywho, Adam's in the bathroom, doing his business, minding his business and as I walked by I just said, "I hate you!" It just rolled off my tongue, like I was saying, "Good morning" or "How are you today?" I don't know what happened, but I couldn't help it. He heard me say something but couldn't discern my contempt so I played it off saying something like, "I found you!" This is not the woman he married! Deep breaths. You ever hear of that children's book "Everyone Poops"? Well, I'm here to counter that book/statement with a resounding, "No- no they f'ing don't!" Not everyone poops- at least not when they want to. Right now, I unfortunately rank at the top of that list and I can't really take anything for it except more water, exercise, veggies & fiber which I'm doing but sometimes all that does is make you a human whoopee cushion. Pregnancy makes you the Mohave Desert of bowel movements. Take normal frequency then add the extra iron from the prenatal pills and the folic acid ('cause one can never be too careful) and voila- what do you get? A woman who if she came across a genie in a bottle would use one of those three incredibly valuable wishes to Cleanse. My. Colon. No s#!t. I realize this is part of the process and I've just got to roll, but if this is "our" pregnancy shouldn't we be sharing in all the fun?!

Yes, pregnancy does make you lose your marbles!

...and now I have official medical honest-to-goodness proof! Monday I was in the doctor's office, a new PCP(primary care physician) and I'm filling out the usual "new patient" paper work. You know the one where you give all the intimate details of your life- like last period, if you smoke or drink too much alcohol or coffee; what medications you're on; if you've had any surgeries - who you made out with at prom, etc...You know the form. Well, now I guess there's a new part of this inquiry into your health and this new form is a bit of a psychiatric evaluation where they attempt in a way too short a survey to assess your mental health. Do you have trouble falling or staying asleep? Yep, and it's just awesome that it takes me 3 times longer to fall asleep than Adam(my husband) or Reginald (my Dog) and then when I finally to get into a nice REM I have to get up to go pee or remove every stitch of clothing because I'm burning up. But what's really fantastic is when I've only been asleep for a couple of hours and I wake up from some freaky dream- like the one where I go away on vacation and come home to find my baby -who I totally forgot I had- clinging to life in the dresser drawer where apparently in scramble to pack I left the Little One. Do you worry that you're not enough for your family or are letting them down in some way? Um, yeah!!! I constantly wonder if am I reading all of the right books or if I'm on the right websites, I can't even decide what type of diapers I'm going to get yet. And then there's the question of should I really push for a natural birth over c-section. I mean who really wants their guts cut out in search for their baby? But, what baby really wants to be squeezed down the narrow cha cha shoot, naked, gasping for air when they could be gently lifted from their nine month nap. The list of shit that's going through my brain is never-ending. All I want is to do the RIGHT thing! Do you have an increased appetite which causes you to overeat? Hmm, let me think about that. When I say I could eat Dunkin Donuts out of their entire stock of apple fritters in one sitting does that make my answer "Yes"? Are you irritable or short tempered at times? Hell yeah! I'm tired, I'm hot, I only crap twice a week(stay tuned for that lovely preggo charm) I'm worried and I'm eating like an elephant. What do you think?! So there are you are ladies and gentlemen official scientific proof that being preggers qualifies you for having a mental health condition. It's real. I'm not making any of it up. So don't fret if you're in the same position. And if you're the spouse, friend or family member of someone who's "with child" go easy on us. We are legitimately crazy!

at 11 weeks 4 days

How far along? 11 weeks 4 days

Total weight gain: 8-10lbs depends on how amazing my dessert was the night before

Maternity clothes? I'm there... There, I said it. I bought a belly band and I'm loving Adam's basketball shorts and Hanes t-shirts. SEXY mama right here!

Stretch marks? NOOOOO

Skin, Hair & Nails: Nails are amazing. My hair is a disaster!! I can't wait to get it done tomorrow, I look like I just crawled out of a ditch with my hobo shopping cart-- holy roots!

Sleep: Lord have mercy-- Now I can only sleep on my left side, so that, coupled with insomnia has been a flipping PARTY! My preggo pillow should arrive anyday- thank heavens!

Best moment this week: Eating a carrot without hurling!

Miss anything? Caffeine, my abs, and being able to run full speed without hacking up a lung or cooking babies.

Movement: nada-- cramps still though

Food cravings: Spicy ANYTHING-- chili, tacos, spicy speghetti sauce. Honey Turkey sandwiches with mayo, Chips, Veggies and Dip, Grapenuts :)

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really anymore-- its a miracle!

Gender:  too early, BUT IT WILL BE A SURPRISE-- sorry everyone!

Labor signs: Nope

Symptoms: Maybe a little emotional, pee every 2 seconds, tired more than usual, cramps, headaches, dizziness when I stand up to quick, thirsty

Belly button in or out? Innie

Can you see your toes? Yes! Shocking

Happy or moody most of the time: Pretty much happy-- even KEEL ;)

Looking forward to: Friday-- Ultra Screen and ultrasound. YEE HAW new pictures!!

10 weeks 5 days

ALMOST THERE!!....

12 weeks this Saturday!! Can you believe, I made it without turning inside out and tapping out.
Friday we have our Ultra Screen prenatal testing. It's where they test with more exact results for Downs and the Trisomy defects. It's elective, but I really want to see the babies and make sure all is okay. I find it is an excuse to get another glimpse of them in higher definition.  This appointment is also when I meet my high risk team. We are going to start having all of our appointments at Riverside hospital with the Maternal-Fetal medicine team. I feel VERY lucky to be in one of the best states for medicine and healthcare. This hospital is ranked a level 3 hospital for Maternity/Obstetrics-NICU. Hospitals are ranked 1-4, level 4 would be awesome!!! I believe I'd have to go to Cleveland Clinic for that though- too far!

I am definitely OUT OF THE WEEDS with sickness. I swear I NEVER thought that would go away. Day in and day out of waking and falling asleep in dire straights is no way to live. Finally I have an appetite, I can look at vegetables and fruit, and touch meat. Yes, I can actually bear the site of meat. Another thing I thought I'd never be able to look at, eat or touch.
Along with being over the sickness, my hippo ass has soaked up lots of lovely foods with a death grip and played right along with gaining some preggo weight. Its a good time trying to shimmy into my clothes.  I know that its VERY important to gain weight in the first trimester with twins-- my doctor was so persistent with this because she's seen SO many preterm births due to low weight of the mother. I DO NOT WANT THAT!!! I gotta get to 35 weeks at least, 38 would be perfect! I have really only gained about 8lbs, but it feels like 45.
My goal was 10lbs this trimester, so I feel pretty good about my achievement. I have been making it to the gym everyday to hike my tail up the stairs or walk. I am determined to have a natural birth, none of this c-section business, so the more I can stay in shape the easier it will be to launch these babes out when it comes time.

I am SO lucky to have such amazing friends coaching me thru this process, I swear I belly laugh till it hurts everyday talking to my girlfriends. I wish I could have a whole posse of friends in the delivery room with me to keep me laughing as much as I am now. I mostly love how honest we can be about the most raw of subjects(like mucus plugs and slime)-- my kinda girl talk.

I can't wait to get our newest pictures on Friday. Ill post them. I also think I'll probably buck up and post on Facebook our baby news. I've been holding off, because its been such fun keeping this special time for Adam and I a fun moment for just us and our best friends, but I do feel like its important to have lots of prayers from all our friends and family near and far !!

I did buy my first Baby thing this week-- wait for it.... A BREAST PUMP!
No, not just any breast pump, the Rolls Royce of Breast Pumps.  I swear I'm so excited to get this thing up and running. It's a double pump, so you can strap two bottles on to your boobies at once. Then you strap them in and belt the machine to your waist so you can DO ANYTHING-- I could go walk the dog and be squirting milk into bottles. INCREDIBLE!!! This is what my life has come to... excitement over being a milk maid.

Its called the Madella Freestyle:

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3214492&CAWELAID=236746419

And for all those wondering... We are still NOT finding out the genders :)
Yes, we are that bold, tough and strong!!  :)

~~ Jaime