July 8, 2013... the BOYS are here!
Well, they've been here for 7 months now. I CANNOT believe how fast
the time goes. I have completely neglected my blog since the last few
weeks of my pregnancy which ended seamlessly thankfully. I did in
fact go full term with the boys. I was induced on December 12th
hoping to just sail right in labor and pop those little babies out on
the coolest day of the year, 12/12/12... but no, God had different
plans. And here is how it all went down...
Our scheduled induction was for 6am on
the 12th. The night before, well actually the entire day
before, I was a mess. I think cried from the second I got up to the
second I fell asleep that night. You see, my pregnancy was one of, if
not the best experience of my life. Adam and I tried to get pregnant
for 3 years, we would try and try, fail, stop trying out of
frustration or because we thought “a break” would help, and then
try and try again. Throughout those three years I cannot say it was
a miserable or depressing time because of the struggle, it was
actually a lot of fun. We took trips and vacations and really just
played hard as a couple. Looking back, I am really blessed we had
that time and I wouldn't do it any different.
Finding out I was pregnant was a moment
I will never forget, I think I peed on like 20 sticks, all different
brands just to be certain I was in fact seeing what I was seeing
correctly... then TWINS! Stop it right now. If that is not a “God
is SO good” and “be still and let God take the reigns” example,
I don't know what is.
My entire life I have fought God on
control, actually, I still do. I am a perfectionist, anxious,
doubtful, insecure, ball of stress most of the time. I fight
constantly to stay on top of life and keep all my juggling balls from
falling on the ground. Why I exert so much energy to do this when
God is right there saying “hello, jame, let me take a load off,”
I will never know. Because have been hardwired that way I suppose.
The moment that Dr. Gaiser said,
“Jaime, you are going to have twins!” a slide show of all of my
efforts to become a Mom just flashed thru my mind. For 3 years I
tried to control this miracle I wanted so badly only to find out that
letting go and giving it to God would give me my answered prayer
times TWO.
Getting back on track here...Dec.11th,
the day before the big day. All day I paced, I fretted, I
worried that because my 9 months of pregnancy were such a breeze that
something just had to go wrong-- isn't that how its supposed to go?--
Mrs. Worrier/Anxious kicking in. I remember just sitting and rubbing
my belly crying, thinking I don't want this to go away. I don't want
to lose this belly that I prayed for. I don't want to lose the last 9
months of wishing and thinking and dreaming of what is in there..
boys, girls, both. I don't want to face being a Mom, because what if
I fail? I can control this belly, its all compact and safe and I have
control. Having my babies is out of my control, I have no idea what
I'm doing. How do I do it perfectly? How will I look after? Will they
be ok? Safe, Healthy? For an entire day I paced and I fretted all
these things and thoughts. I cried, ALOT. Bedtime rolled around and
I couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned and looked at the clock. I woke
up way before the alarm went off and got myself up and ready. Who
doesn't want to look beautiful to meet their babies for the first
time?
I was told not to eat much, so I ate a
banana-- I wasn't even hungry. I was so nervous. I held Adam's hand
all the way to the hospital. It was dark out, with some light snow on
the ground. Coming to the hospital was surreal... I had basically
lived there for the last 9 months. Three times a week getting ultra
sounds and check ups in the high risk ward of the maternity wing.
Again, more tears. Tears of joy, tears of closing a chapter. I was
huge, waddling in my sweats and sweatshirt up to the 3rd
floor.
After admitted I was checked into our
room. “Strip down and put on your gown, we will back in a minute to
break your water and get you going”... here we go! That was 6am...
12/12/12 @ 7pm. I had seen women come
and go, heard babies cry, seen about 10 different nurses, had my
pitocin increased like 30 times, walked, bounced, laid down, sat up,
toss and turned, peed like 40 times, ate about two dozen icees, drank
a million sprites, but, still had not caved for the epideral. I was
no wuss, I could do this, I'm tough as nails, BALLS TO THE FLIPPING
WALL people-- watch me!
Both babies were still head down and
doing just great, no fluctuations to their heart rate and I was just
sailing along with hardly ANY progress. By 7:30pm my doctor came in
and told me that her 12 hour shift was over done and she was heading
home... her prediction... I was going to have 12/13 babies. Um,
excuse me? That's not in my plan actually Doctor, so you need to do
whatever you can to make these two come out like 3 hours ago please
and thank you. Well, I'm sure the look on my face was “crank that
pitocin up now, lets get this show on the road” because before she
left she told my nurse, give her more. And that my friends DID THE
TRICK.
By 8pm I was like a damn cat crawling
up the wall trying to rip the ceiling tiles out begging for my
epideral. Well, like us, everyone in Columbus and the surrounding
area were planning on having a 12/12/12 baby so we just got on the
epideral train and waited...and waited. Basically we waited until my
ovaries were kickboxing and the babies were chewing thru my vagina.
Yep, that sums the sensation up nicely.
Finally my hero came in the room...
Grace. Yes, my anesthesiologist's name was Grace-- is that not the
most perfect name ever for a true savior? I am pretty sure I told her
that like 12 times as she was ramming a needle in my spine. But Holy
hail Mary, what do they put in that spine cocktail. It was like Meth
for my cord. I was instantly all smiles. By the time the epideral was
in, I was 7cm dialated and 100% effaced. Took about 20 minutes after
that for me to have my legs in the stirrups and my mirror all ready
to rock and roll. Oh but wait, wait a minute... I don't feel so good.
Nope, not good at all. I'm gonna throw up... I need a bucket,
hurry!!!!!! 2 dozen icees comin right up, literally. And every 5
minutes after that we were in the “epideral reaction puking death
warzone.”
[Isn't this an awesome time so far?]
12/12/12 @ 11pm.
“At the next contraction we need to
you push like you are taking a huge poop”... LOL wtf? They didnt
tell me THAT in birthing class! Ok, um actually that makes me think I
will poop and “aint nobody got time for that!” What's plan B..
I'll take that one. “Jaime plan B is a c-section” ohhhh okay,
yaaa lets go ahead and poop our pants then.
Contraction 1... push, bear down, Jaime
pushhhhh... and breathe. And here we go again, and again, and
again... fast forward to 12/13 @3am. Okay Jaime, Baby A's head is
down, we need you to push slowly so we can get him situated. Push
slowly... lady I am basically dead here, I've puked my insides out,
shit all over the table, can't keep my eyes open, and you want me to
try and figure out how to push slowly... Lord help me. Well, the
pushing slowly ended up with Baby A's head turning transverse, so
guess what they did... PUSHED HIM ALL THE WAY BACK IN. “How about
them apples!!!??” “We need a c-section room prepped right now
stat!” I heard them say. Adam immediately got on the phone
notifying all our family. It was 12/13@ 3:30am at this point. 21
HOURS of labor.
I honestly do not remember most of the
prepping for me to get into the surgery room. I remember being
wheeled into the cold, SUPER BRIGHT room. I remember being told to
cross my arms over my chest so that they could hoist me onto the
surgery table and I remember continuing to throw up every 2 minutes,
by only being able to turn my head sideways and not lift it up at all
– horrible, let me tell you.
Fast forward maybe 5 minutes I think,
Baby A is here... A boy! Beautiful, crying his head off... and 3
minutes later, Baby B is here... another BOY!!! Oh my God, God is
good!! And mommy was right all along... two beautiful Boys. My whole
heart lying in two tiny incubators. A moment I will never forget. A
moment I will cherish as long as I live. Adam and I were so tired,
and so full of joy and just in tears. They handed Adam both little
boys and he was beaming-- his little buddies. And so our new life
begins, as Parents, Role Models, Best Friends, and Leaders of two new
lives. So blessed, so in love and SO ready to sleep... LOL fat
chance!
Born 12/13/12 @ 3:45am and 3:48am
A: Weston Maxwell Keel 6lbs 5oz 19
inches long
B: Ryan Jackson Keel 5lbs 11oz 19
inches long
