I CANNOT believe that I am 34 weeks already. I really cannot. However, I really do have a very hard time remembering how it was to be not pregnant. I do miss a lot about not being pregnant, but I can honestly say that this pregnancy has been REALLY REALLY easy and so smooth. I feel VERY lucky to be able to say that because I know that pregnancy can be tough as hell for some, and especially with multiples. I have prayed everyday throughout the last 8 months for strength and truly believe God has answered my prayers. I would definitely have another baby... BABY as in single child in the future... Adam doesnt know this yet :) So as of now, I have 4 weeks left until induction. I can TOTALLY do that, I am almost a little scared to not be pregnant anymore. Not so much because of motherhood kicking in full force, but I think it might feel a little confusing after adapting to such a lifestyle for the last almost year. Does that sound weird? If the doctor told me I need to hang on for a couple more months, I might actually say ok.
I will admit, I am TERRIFIED, SCARED TO DEATH of going into preterm labor and having my babies be in NICU. It makes me sick to think about it. I have absolutely no reason for this to be crossing my mind. Its my own fault that I google stupid shit freak myself out-- I have to stop that.
Supposedly I am at a great milestone at 34 weeks... I dont know if I agree. I mean, yes, if i were to deliver now they would be totally okay and maybe only be in the NICU for a quick time, but a quick time is still TOO long for me. I pray that I can chug along to my due date at 38.5 weeks. Both babies are head down and seem to not really move from that position, at least they havent in the last 8 weeks. Thats fabulous, because I'm also hoping I can get this done without a csection.
2 weeks ago I had my two steroid shots. These were prescribed by the baby's doctors as a precautionary measure due to the twins being on the larger side. Larger is good, but it also means that without knowing what my body can handle, they may come earlier than 38.5wks and they want the babies to be at optimal lung health. So cool, I went and did that...UM HOLY MOTHER OF MARY... could that shot have hurt anymore? Uh,..NO. First of all, its a refrigerated solution, so its ice cold and its the consistency of glue. Furthermore, you have to bend over so your butt is rock hard tight and then they ram that sucker right in your cheek. Whatever it takes right??!!
Now that the steroid shots are done and we are into the homestretch, I am having appts 3 times a week to monitor the babies. Once a week with my OB to do cervical checks and twice with the babies doctors to have scans and Non-Stress Tests. The stress tests monitor how the babies hearts can regulate to stress and my contractions over an hour time span . So basically if I have a contraction they then look at how the babies heart rates spiked and regulated normally. They do want to see some jump and regulation on the babies but not an obsessive amount, because ideally they would really love to see NO contractions from me. Well, thats not happening, I'm contacting every day randomly. Its not abnormal, I guess... My OB and the specialists are telling me that since this is my first pregnancy, and on top of it carrying twins that are 5+ lbs a piece already my uterus is pretty much pissed off all the time. So its contracting due to the weight and mass getting larger by the day.
I am only dilated 1cm and effaced 50% -- both are great stats considering I'm over 34wks now and the babies are on the large side.
We are still scheduled for induction on 12/12/12, but I am getting mixed feedback from my doctors on whether we can make it there. I would love to at least get to Dec.1, so that is my personal goal. I'd be thrilled to make it to 12/12, but I've decided to take it all in baby steps so it doesnt seem like such a pipe dream.
Overall, I feel really lucky, despite all the rings I've jumped through lately. I have a couple girlfriends here that are really struggling in their pregnancy with their twins and I just feel so helpless that I cant do more for them. I thank God everyday that I make it another day.
On a lighter note, I am completely DONE with my "before twins" checklist. We put together our massive double stroller last night, and set up the monitors. Next up is Thanksgiving, followed by decorating early for Christmas and a cleaning crew to get our house in tip top shape before we bring our little Christmas bundles home. Get me to DECEMBER!!!
~~Jaime
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