July 8, 2013... the BOYS are here! Well, they've been here for 7 months now. I CANNOT believe how fast the time goes. I have completely neglected my blog since the last few weeks of my pregnancy which ended seamlessly thankfully. I did in fact go full term with the boys. I was induced on December 12th hoping to just sail right in labor and pop those little babies out on the coolest day of the year, 12/12/12... but no, God had different plans. And here is how it all went down...
Our scheduled induction was for 6am on the 12th. The night before, well actually the entire day before, I was a mess. I think cried from the second I got up to the second I fell asleep that night. You see, my pregnancy was one of, if not the best experience of my life. Adam and I tried to get pregnant for 3 years, we would try and try, fail, stop trying out of frustration or because we thought “a break” would help, and then try and try again. Throughout those three years I cannot say it was a miserable or depressing time because of the struggle, it was actually a lot of fun. We took trips and vacations and really just played hard as a couple. Looking back, I am really blessed we had that time and I wouldn't do it any different.
Finding out I was pregnant was a moment I will never forget, I think I peed on like 20 sticks, all different brands just to be certain I was in fact seeing what I was seeing correctly... then TWINS! Stop it right now. If that is not a “God is SO good” and “be still and let God take the reigns” example, I don't know what is.
My entire life I have fought God on control, actually, I still do. I am a perfectionist, anxious, doubtful, insecure, ball of stress most of the time. I fight constantly to stay on top of life and keep all my juggling balls from falling on the ground. Why I exert so much energy to do this when God is right there saying “hello, jame, let me take a load off,” I will never know. Because have been hardwired that way I suppose.
The moment that Dr. Gaiser said, “Jaime, you are going to have twins!” a slide show of all of my efforts to become a Mom just flashed thru my mind. For 3 years I tried to control this miracle I wanted so badly only to find out that letting go and giving it to God would give me my answered prayer times TWO.
Getting back on track here...Dec.11th, the day before the big day. All day I paced, I fretted, I worried that because my 9 months of pregnancy were such a breeze that something just had to go wrong-- isn't that how its supposed to go?-- Mrs. Worrier/Anxious kicking in. I remember just sitting and rubbing my belly crying, thinking I don't want this to go away. I don't want to lose this belly that I prayed for. I don't want to lose the last 9 months of wishing and thinking and dreaming of what is in there.. boys, girls, both. I don't want to face being a Mom, because what if I fail? I can control this belly, its all compact and safe and I have control. Having my babies is out of my control, I have no idea what I'm doing. How do I do it perfectly? How will I look after? Will they be ok? Safe, Healthy? For an entire day I paced and I fretted all these things and thoughts. I cried, ALOT. Bedtime rolled around and I couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned and looked at the clock. I woke up way before the alarm went off and got myself up and ready. Who doesn't want to look beautiful to meet their babies for the first time?
I was told not to eat much, so I ate a banana-- I wasn't even hungry. I was so nervous. I held Adam's hand all the way to the hospital. It was dark out, with some light snow on the ground. Coming to the hospital was surreal... I had basically lived there for the last 9 months. Three times a week getting ultra sounds and check ups in the high risk ward of the maternity wing. Again, more tears. Tears of joy, tears of closing a chapter. I was huge, waddling in my sweats and sweatshirt up to the 3rd floor.
After admitted I was checked into our room. “Strip down and put on your gown, we will back in a minute to break your water and get you going”... here we go! That was 6am...
12/12/12 @ 7pm. I had seen women come and go, heard babies cry, seen about 10 different nurses, had my pitocin increased like 30 times, walked, bounced, laid down, sat up, toss and turned, peed like 40 times, ate about two dozen icees, drank a million sprites, but, still had not caved for the epideral. I was no wuss, I could do this, I'm tough as nails, BALLS TO THE FLIPPING WALL people-- watch me!
Both babies were still head down and doing just great, no fluctuations to their heart rate and I was just sailing along with hardly ANY progress. By 7:30pm my doctor came in and told me that her 12 hour shift was over done and she was heading home... her prediction... I was going to have 12/13 babies. Um, excuse me? That's not in my plan actually Doctor, so you need to do whatever you can to make these two come out like 3 hours ago please and thank you. Well, I'm sure the look on my face was “crank that pitocin up now, lets get this show on the road” because before she left she told my nurse, give her more. And that my friends DID THE TRICK.
By 8pm I was like a damn cat crawling up the wall trying to rip the ceiling tiles out begging for my epideral. Well, like us, everyone in Columbus and the surrounding area were planning on having a 12/12/12 baby so we just got on the epideral train and waited...and waited. Basically we waited until my ovaries were kickboxing and the babies were chewing thru my vagina. Yep, that sums the sensation up nicely.
Finally my hero came in the room... Grace. Yes, my anesthesiologist's name was Grace-- is that not the most perfect name ever for a true savior? I am pretty sure I told her that like 12 times as she was ramming a needle in my spine. But Holy hail Mary, what do they put in that spine cocktail. It was like Meth for my cord. I was instantly all smiles. By the time the epideral was in, I was 7cm dialated and 100% effaced. Took about 20 minutes after that for me to have my legs in the stirrups and my mirror all ready to rock and roll. Oh but wait, wait a minute... I don't feel so good. Nope, not good at all. I'm gonna throw up... I need a bucket, hurry!!!!!! 2 dozen icees comin right up, literally. And every 5 minutes after that we were in the “epideral reaction puking death warzone.”
[Isn't this an awesome time so far?]
12/12/12 @ 11pm.
“At the next contraction we need to you push like you are taking a huge poop”... LOL wtf? They didnt tell me THAT in birthing class! Ok, um actually that makes me think I will poop and “aint nobody got time for that!” What's plan B.. I'll take that one. “Jaime plan B is a c-section” ohhhh okay, yaaa lets go ahead and poop our pants then.
Contraction 1... push, bear down, Jaime pushhhhh... and breathe. And here we go again, and again, and again... fast forward to 12/13 @3am. Okay Jaime, Baby A's head is down, we need you to push slowly so we can get him situated. Push slowly... lady I am basically dead here, I've puked my insides out, shit all over the table, can't keep my eyes open, and you want me to try and figure out how to push slowly... Lord help me. Well, the pushing slowly ended up with Baby A's head turning transverse, so guess what they did... PUSHED HIM ALL THE WAY BACK IN. “How about them apples!!!??” “We need a c-section room prepped right now stat!” I heard them say. Adam immediately got on the phone notifying all our family. It was 12/13@ 3:30am at this point. 21 HOURS of labor.
I honestly do not remember most of the prepping for me to get into the surgery room. I remember being wheeled into the cold, SUPER BRIGHT room. I remember being told to cross my arms over my chest so that they could hoist me onto the surgery table and I remember continuing to throw up every 2 minutes, by only being able to turn my head sideways and not lift it up at all – horrible, let me tell you.
Fast forward maybe 5 minutes I think, Baby A is here... A boy! Beautiful, crying his head off... and 3 minutes later, Baby B is here... another BOY!!! Oh my God, God is good!! And mommy was right all along... two beautiful Boys. My whole heart lying in two tiny incubators. A moment I will never forget. A moment I will cherish as long as I live. Adam and I were so tired, and so full of joy and just in tears. They handed Adam both little boys and he was beaming-- his little buddies. And so our new life begins, as Parents, Role Models, Best Friends, and Leaders of two new lives. So blessed, so in love and SO ready to sleep... LOL fat chance!
Born 12/13/12 @ 3:45am and 3:48am
A: Weston Maxwell Keel 6lbs 5oz 19 inches long
B: Ryan Jackson Keel 5lbs 11oz 19 inches long